The B-Side (aka. my mood piece)

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Okay, let's face it, I really just wanted to name a post that. I haven't written in a while, no big surprise there, but decided I needed more songs on my player. Here's a cd that I rather enjoyed when I found it, and kept me in rather good spirits. I actually haven't listened to it in a while. Not the deepest most life-altering album, but kind of fun never-the-less. I mean, it's what a band of stuffed animals would sound like if they could (that's what the band is going for, no joke). And yet Pitchfork still liked it. I myself rather enjoyed the artwork, which is what drew me to it initially; aesthetics draw me in like that. They remind me of the artwork my nephew used to give me when he was about 6 (the kid has a gift). Plus, they use the xylophone, and an assortment of random instrumentations, and my favorite is the one with which they start this song out. What can I say? I'm a sucker for the xylophone.

Okay, I guess we'll start it here. Friday the 7th of December, Vampire Weekend played at Kilby Court. If you've listened to any of their stuff you know they're fabulous. They sound like nothing else out there. The only song I currently have on my player is theirs, so you already know this. Don't they sound casual? Don't they sound fun? Are you having as hard a time waiting for a full cd of theirs to come out as I am? They don't have a full cd out yet. I think it comes out this January. I made a couple videos of songs at the show, because the great thing about Kilby is that you're always so close (made possible by only 100 tickets being sold, and having the band play in a small shack with everyone crowded in). I think it's hands down my favorite venue, at least in Utah. Anyway, the band here is from back East. Funny how you can say "back East" and it's supposed to say it all. I think they're from New York? Jersey? I don't know; possibly they met in New York in college, and the lead singer is from Jersey. We talked to him after the show; he was very excited about the snow (it started snowing big fat flakes outside during the show, making this our second legitimate snow fall of the season). Very nice, very polite, really young looking. I swear the kid couldn't be more than 20. Spencer talked to him about Jersey because he lived their too. The drummer had this amazing energy throughout the show that made it impossible not be excited if not giddy while watching him. Heidi made fun of his wranglers (as being too trendy), and him rolling up his pant legs like a biker (of the bicycle variety) before the show, but I'm pretty sure she recinded her mockery on account of his amazing skills. The keyboardest/pianis too was an integral part of what I think makes the band; with the help of his computer gadgetry sounds occured resembling a xylophone/tropical bongo...? (I really should know more about the instruments that make certain sounds with how much I love listening to bands that experiment with the instruments that make slightly different sounds than what people are used to hearing on a regular basis) Anyway, he was really nice as well, even though Heidi stole his drug juice on dare from Spencer before the show and before she realized he was in the band.

So the lead singer also had this big old Gibson Classic, hollowbody style with he violin slits on the face towards the sides, that has the best unique sound of any guitar I know. I love that thing--so beautiful. Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa in particular makes me feel like I'm in Jamaica or some other place tropical whenever I hear it, which made a nice contrast listening to it while the most beautiful snowfall we've yet had this year occured just outside the windows. It was, without a doubt, a really great show to have attended. And while I was somewhat sad about it falling on the same day as Iron & Wine, I really just couldn't miss it (especially with I & W playing at the Saltair with the terrible acoustics and lake effect smell). I'll try to post a video of the music to Youtube or something, so I can post it on here as well, because it's just worth watching/listening to.

So I decided to take this blog in an entirely new direction. The last time I wrote in it was about a year ago, and it's obvious I didn't accomplish what I set out to accomplish with it--that is, if it can be established what I planned to do with it in the first place. But I definitely did not write in it often. Ayway, I'm pretty sure no one reads this anymore (I know I wouldn't), which is kind of perfect because I can say anything on here, and who even cares if anyone reads it? A very freeing feeling. Freeing feeling? Talk about consonance that should have never taken place, but there's no turning back now...

But yeah, I decided that this would be a good place to write about music. You see, I love music. Most people I know do not share my musical tastes, which is why it's so perfect that no one reads this anymore. And as I have about as terrible a memory as ever there was, I figured it would be a good thing to document the musical experiences/feelings/discoveries I have, because really, music is art and can make a big impact on one's outlook towards life. I figure it will make a bigger impact on me if I can remember the impact made in the first place. Enter the age of computer capabilities...a blog is born that allows this to take place. I can now document whatever strikes my fancy as document-worthy, and even that which I doesn't, and instant memories are within my grasp, and no hard-drive crash can take them with it. It's like my own personal pensieve.

Anyway, I'm not guaranteeing that I'll say anything proliferative (this is for me after all), but I will say things.

I decided to write all this on this blog because the blue and white remind me more of snow, and thus of the Christmas season. Plus there's the fact that I've grossly neglected this.

My Thanksgiving was good, which it couldn't help but be as it is my favorite holiday, filled with a day of food and family, followed by a day of shopping and competition in the form of slight episodes of violence. I went down to Lindon because we had Thanksgiving at my oldest sister's house. It wasn't the McSomethingkins' year, and because my mom's side lives mostly out of the state, it was just my immediate family. Of course, all my siblings are married and most of them have kids, and considering I only had one sibling not present...it wasn't a bad turn out. First things first I sat with my sisters and we plotted our strategy for Black Friday, whilst we waited for the food to finish cooking. I guess you can only get all of the store ads if you actually take the paper; you can't get all of them when you buy it individually. Anyway, the food was delicious, with the exception that I wasn't a fan of the yams, which is sad because they're my favorite food of all time. My mom experimented with a recipe off of the internet, which everyone else absolutely loved, and in essence consisted of using orange juice. It completely drowned out the taste of the yams, which I like, and the sweetness of all the sugar. I can't convey the amount of sadness that I felt at that moment. Think raisins. On the bright side, the turkey was quite tasty. I don't like turkey much, but it was moist and delicious. I was surprised, but really I was more pleased with the fact that my brother-in-law didn't deep fry it again, like the year before last. My oldest sister burnt just the top of the pumpkin pie a little bit, and I told her she probably ruined Thanksgiving; but it actually tasted really good. I made a chocolate cheese cake. At the end of the meal I somehow ended up stuck in Lindon for hours, because my mom and sister had to take my Grandma to buy a tree and home; not an easy task. But I did get to hang out with my nieces and nephews, which I don't regret at all. I won Doll Face at air hockey, and Messe had a computer program called "Line Jumper" that was basically drawing lines, and once he had drawn something complicated he pushed play, which caused a little skate boarding person to ride the lines and perform jumps and loops. My attempts at this usually ended with the little man crashing into something, or falling off into space. I should have brought Killer Bunnies, but I didn't think. In other news, my one-year-old niece wouldn't let me put her down. Quite the departure from only liking me when I had food, which was the case not all that long ago. She did steal my cookie, and my drink, but every once in a while she stopped eating it to generously offer me some of her newly commandeered cookie. So adorable now.

Friday I got to go shopping with 3 of my sisters. We had an absolute blast, beginning at the Fred Meyer sock sale, 4: 30 am sharp. I accidentally bumped into a granny on the rush into Fred Meyer at 5 am, but we got out of there with a new all-time high in quickness. It was the men's' Christmas socks that held me up--I can never find them because they end up in a new spot every year. Normally we would sort through everything in line that we sort of just threw into our bags (of the grocery and garbage variety, because carts clog the isles and slow you down) without thinking. But without the wait in the monstrously long line it was difficult. Luckily I didn't spend much this year, in comparison to past years anyway, and everyone's guesses went over the amount I spent--a little game we play. Running into Target me and my little sis were yelling "GO! go!" at each other, and making a spectacle in general, and unbeknownst to us that's where the news cameras were placed. I wouldn't be surprised if that ended up on the news as a demonstration of the amount of crazy people out on the morning of the day-after-Thanksgiving sales. My second oldest sister fell into a shelf full of board games. This was after she bumped into it, knocking many down. I was laughing to hard to help her out, so strangers had to do it. Some guy yelled "yes!" really excitedly when it happened. Seriously; moments like that are the true reason people like shopping on Black Friday. Whilst my little sis and I were watching all this happen, we were actually kind of trapped in an isle, so even if I hadn't been laughing helping would have been out of the question. A bunch of little Elmo chairs fell on the ground and started vibrating on our legs during all of the chaos; I felt rather violated. We hit 6 stores in two hours. I bought a new camera, which is really just a suped up version of my old camera, but it was dirt cheap, and I sold my old one to my sister. The green focus boxes are back, which is important (When my dad and I took apart my old camera to put on a new button, that feature was lost). After all the craziness I got a McGriddle and sat at my parents' house, watching the episode I missed on Thanksgiving of Slutty ER on the internet. I went to Graywhale later that day for double the savings and bought some excellent new music. All in all, a good Thanksgiving and Black Friday.

Saturday I helped Sheidi paint her kitchen with the help of Gus, this kid at work who has one of the most awesome senses of humor I've ever met. So does his roommate, who was also there. We decided the previous color was "Construction Worker Ugly," or basically just a blinding shade of orange. We sponged over it a burnt sienna color, and I still have orange paint on my elbow that I can't get to come off. It was actually a lot of fun, and Gus's roommate tried out my new camera by taking pictures of absolutely everyone and everything. I like pictures, so the ones not of paint in the drain and onions in a basket are ones I'll keep and enjoy, and no work on my part to get them...Nice. Then we ate my left-over cheesecake and the boys had to leave, but I still went to the movies with Sheidi, rather than doing my homework. I really needed a break from school this weekend. Now I need to grit my teeth and get through the remaining 2 and a half weeks of school.

Yesterday I went to tea with my little sister and Duckling for her birthday. My sister's that it. I forget how silly she is when I'm away from her, but remember right away when I see her again. I had quite a good time, and for a time forgot all about the horrible day I'd had at work. They brought us cucumber water with our tea, which made my day, and there were no shortage of apple/cream cheese finger sandwiches. There was a damper thrown in the amount of scones, but I never finish it all anyway, so I didn't mind too much. We talked about her work experiences at the bank she now works at (where my older sister also works), made fun of people taking engagement photos while wearing sweater vests, and ultimately had a right old riot of a time. I love talking to certain people about everything and nothing at all. I think one of the best stories was that of my 3 year old nephew, who Muffin was watching at her in-laws house the other day, which is where she lives. They were downstairs and suddenly he announced that he wanted to go upstairs and play with "grandma." My sister informed him that she wasn't his grandma, but was in fact Kyle's mom. He then heatedly said, "she's my grandma and I love her." That kid is so randomly funny sometimes. And out of control. I told him I'd send him to China the other day if he didn't stop kicking me in the leg while I was pushing him in a shopping cart. He stopped needless to say. About 15 minutes later, somewhat out of the blue, he said to no one in particular, "I don't want to go to China." His mother was confused. I think I let her stay that way.

That night I spent hours at the grocery store picking out things I needed to buy to make food for my Sunday potluck. I've bought things for at least the last 4 consecutive times, and I felt bad. It was a Southern style potluck, and after hearing all the other things that were being brought, I didn't want to get too badly shown up. So I made chicken marinated in buttermilk, and battered, and also a pecan pie. Unfortunately I accidentally left the oven setting on "broil," and I don't think it cooked right. Ultimately it didn't matter, because I dropped it when I got to work. It had tinfoil over the top, so it was still good, just not pretty. I was sad, but Leon brought two pecan pies, so I think it was for the best. I'm baking it right now on super low heat to see if it will ever get done. I should probably go check on that.

Friday night I finally got my birthday dinner. It was me, my parents, and Muffin and her hubby. Basically they were taking her out for her birthday, and I got invited probably out of pity. Just kidding; I deserved it. I love the chicken scampi there, and the cheese cake. Turns out that is the Olive Garden my roommate works at, so she came over and said hi and met the fam. The food was good, our waiter was slightly forgetful, and I got home really late that night. It was a nice night, but I also learned that my dad had a lot of heart tests done lately, and they didn't come out so well. Surgery is pretty likely, and it freaks me out. I decided long ago that my dad needs to live forever, so he'd better not let me down. That's actually not very happy in a happy post, but I did enjoy spending time with my family. And tomorrow is Friday, so praises to that.

It's been a while since I've had time to write on either of these, mainly because work has become so bad that I constantly feel like a chicken running around with no head. Just a warning, this will be a doosey of a post.

So I’ve decided I’ve become too bitter and cynical. Actually, I’m bitter and I complain too much. Weird, since I’ve never been a complainer, but I hate how it makes me feel, and ultimately it gets me nowhere, unless I do I go about it in an educated manner and to people who can make a difference. But that’s not the case recently. Work is about as bad as it could get. Twice the workload, half the man-power. So it’s 4 times harder than it was, and it’s never been easy. Still, I enjoy my job. Only I’m harboring quite a bit of resentment towards my supervisor for implementing all sorts of changes, and neglecting us on top of that so he doesn’t see that all of his plans aren't working, but I do understand he’s got his plate full right now. It’s things like that I’ve lost sight of; other people's sides that is. We’re all busy, and my complaining is just making the general attitude worse. I need to find some hope. And if I fall short it’s not for lack of trying on my part, so what more can they ask? I need to communicate with my superiors better. Something someone I work with hit me pretty hard too--more on that later. And while I disagree with her that I signed up for all this, I agree that attitude is very important. The fact is, it wasn’t like this when I started, but I did choose to stay with it when changes started happening. They’ve been happening for a while, just not so drastically as recently. And while what they’re heaping on us isn’t right, I think they’ll realize that soon. I’ve been thinking a lot about switching sections lately; the same thing is stopping me now that has in the past—I love my co-workers, for the most part. In any other section I may encounter good people, but it’s not possible to encounter the quantity and quality of those I already work with, and after all, attitude is important and people you are around help set the attitude.

And so I am implementing a two-fold plan: A) no whining or complaining unless it’s in an constructive manner that takes into account everyone else’s shoes, and B) maintain a positive outlook. Also I guess I could throw in there working like crazy. I’ve become too comfortable taking a lazy pathway as of late, and really I need to remember that I love my field of study, and it’s worth all the pain to learn and grow within it. That’s the main point my co-worker hit me with. It was actually a question, “Do you think you’re cut out for this program?” (the Med Lab Sci program that is). It really kind of stung me, the audacity of that question, and at that moment it felt like she was questioning my abilities, but the more I think about it the less insulted I am. I don’t think it was meant to insult my abilities, because she knows I’m highly competent at what I do, but more as a prod in the right direction. I think it stung so much because I’d been wondering that question myself. And of course when she asked it I immediately felt compelled to rush to my own defense in a slightly combative way--of course I am!—only I was too shocked to be too combative. And the more we discussed it all, the more it made me realize that I need to continually ask myself that. And what I’ve found is that I am cut out for it, if I’m pushing myself as hard as I know I can—I simply need to break out of my indifferent state of mind I’ve found myself caught up in lately. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from distance running, it’s that to be really good you have to put yourself out of your comfort zone, otherwise you won’t get any better, and ultimately you won’t be happy. If you push like crazy, it hurts at the time, but you feel so great afterwards, and you find yourself stronger than you ever thought possible when you first started. I need to do that.

When I first started thinking about that question I immediately got scared and thought back to the time when I had this same predicament with Comp Sci. There I found out that I didn’t enjoy it enough to stick it out, and it took me a while to decide on the the Medical Laboratory Science program. I’ve had little doubts ever since, just because I’m scared of making similar mistakes to those I have made in the past. So I asked myself, did I really know what I was getting myself into? Then I started praying like crazy. That’s something else I need to better implement. Less methodical motions, more feeling put into them. I haven’t been in the place I should be in, due to the stresses of life, in quite some time, but I’m slowly making my way back there and setting my priorities straight. And I’m slowly getting to the point where I don’t feel so alone, so I think it will be easier to bare the difficulties I'm encountering now. But I need to better prioritize, because I do enjoy learning about science, it’s fascinating enough that even when it’s painful to learn I still enjoy what I’m learning. I need to keep an open mindset, and then the joy in learning will balance out the pain in learning. It will still be hard, but if God’s on my side can I really go wrong?